So nobody has seen Bobby Bear in a long time.
He could be hibernating, although if that is the case he went into it 4 months early.
Other theories are that he is trying to duck a £5 debt owed to the band after he took the money from the band wages claiming he needed shampoo and that it was ‘a life and death situation.’
Some fear he may have been kidnapped. This has happened in the past, when he has passed out on a park bench only for some kid to come along and drag him back home with them to be used as some sort of play thing.
If you have seen The ‘Bear’ do get in touch.
And if you are reading this Bobby…. then you are alive and in that case we ain’t impressed.
Mister P (Lazytalk HQ)
Alright you nutters,
Long time no Bobby, ya miss me? Course you did!
Finally the summer has arrived. It’s the times where we can sit in a beer garden for much longer than normally acceptable. Women can wear nice dresses and not walk around in sleeping bags. We can get our funky sunglasses out and talk about were we nicked them from or who we borrowed them from. We can go to the odd festival and listen to some decent music without being pissed on by the clouds above, if were lucky.
So I just got the boys a gig at the Isle of Wight Festival, down in the errr Isle of Wight actually. The boys are playing on Saturday 14th, coz Saturday is the best night – everyone knows that. https://www.isleofwightfestival.com/home.aspx
See you down there, I’ll be at the front, sweating, deep breathing, panicking, dancing, loving love. Come join.
I’ve got some pretty BIG news. I’ve only gone at got the boys on a main fucking stage at one of the biggest festivals for unsigned bands – LeeFest http://leefest.org.uk/artists/lazy-talk/ This is what I do, I’m the best little fury manager there is out there, and if you think theres better let me know and I’ll get big Roy from Docklands to iron him out.
Now I’m not really gunna go into to detail about how I pulled it off but lets just say I got a friend, who got a friend, whos got a cousin, whos got a sister, who knows someone, who knows the top dog, I coincidentally know the top dog, so asked him, and the top dog said yes no probs, so it was pretty simple actually.
Anyway it’s gunna be a right little party down there. You can catch me outside the entrance to the festival selling VIP tickets at half the price of the normal tickets. Look – as long as you’re with Bobby Bear you’re gunna get treated like a king, so come down, stick with me and lets party till that sun rises again.
Summer has arrived lets fuckin’ av it!
Bear-libers how the devil are youse?
So my old buddy Banksy did a piece on a door in Bristol and the door was later removed, the bloke whos got it wants to sell it. Is this cheeky, or is it fair gain thats the question.
Now if you watch the BBC coverage of the story, CCTV footage shows Banksy had an accomplice with him on the night in question. Now I’m not saying it was me, and I’m not saying it wasn’t me. But when we did the job…. I mean when they did the job Banksy knew what he was doing, he’s clever bloke, I didn’t teach him everything he knows to go around not thinking about what hes doing and the concenquences it might have. He knew he was doing it on a door which could be easily nabbed, so thats what he wanted. So fair play to the bloke who’s got it and I’m sure he’ll get a pretty penny or two for it.
We’re currently in talks with Banksy to do the art work for the boys new album and we’re trying to settle on a figure. “£1million in cash seems a little steep” I said to him. He also said to “leave the money in a duffle bag in a bin on top of a multi-story car park at sun down.” grow up mate.
How are my bunch of Bear-libers (see wot I done there? Kinda like Be-libers but its BEAR-libers coz I’m the top fucking bear around here, yeah you get it? YEAH, I’m the best bear around, you understand me) Whoa sorry I went off on one there.
So apparently AC/DC are splitting up! Why is everyone so shocked/sad/amazed. C’mon they’ve been together for nearly 80 years now, give them a break. There’re probably sick to death of the whole thing – touring, studio, parties, women, studio, parties, touring, women, women, parties, parties, parties, women. I know it all sounds fun but its hard fucking work. I know how they feel, I feel like I’m in a rock and roll documentary sometimes, juggling my time from the cab office, to band rehearsals, to sell out shows at the round house. This shit is crazy. Anyway if they do split don’t worry ya selves theres some new kids on the block and they go by the name of LazyTalk.
Alright there you bunch of nutta’s,
I hope all of you wet blankets have got your dry january over and done with and got back into the real world, get on the beers son!
So I only got asked to go and perform at The Sochi Winter Olympics opening ceremony. I was in email talks with this fit Russian woman, and then she flew over to meet me I stopped her as soon as she came into the office and said “look darlin’, firstly I hate leaving london, let alone the UK. Secondly I aint doing any dancing or flowery bollocks, thirdly how much you offering again?” When she said she could only offer around 100 plus flights and accommodation I nearly fell off my small cab office stool. I told her to fuckin’ do one you’re ‘avin a laugh…
Annoyingly I read her email proposal again and she meant 100k not £100. Tried to tell the Russian woman that I was keen, but she already gone ‘n spent the budget on some other mug.
Let that be a lesson, always read the small print kids.
Alright there LazyTalkers,
So I managed to secure the boys a game changer gig down in Devon, easy. I just made a few calls to my west country connections who owed me a favour. I got the van sorted off little Leroy from Shadwell, mint ford splitter van, couple of dents and scratches but apart from that runs a dream.
Went to the cafe of Holloway road for my ritual fry up and paper sesh, with the knowledge that I’d done good for the boys and they were gunna have a blinder. Piers only goes and phones me up giving me some fuckin’ mumbo jumbo about Leroy’s van not working. How dare he, Leroy’s van was in mint condition apart from the odd dents and scratches, but worst of all – I was mid fry up, by thetime I got off the phone from the complaining vocalist my beans were freezing. Liberty.
They got there in the end, wasn’t the crowd were they were expecting but listen; kids are the future right?
We were hangin out down the Groucho about 10 years ago, when it was still rock’n’roll. He starts off snipin over a fiver for the cab, heading back to our gaff for a night cap. We had a few more drinks, couple of models, a tranny and some furry friends of mine, nothing special. I got on the blower to Sam the Scooter man for a few bits and peices and I don;t remember much after that but the next morning Liam swears I owe him 50 grand. As if.
So when i bumped into him the other day, he adn’t got over it, brought up straight away cheeky bastard. I just gave him one of my looks and he waddled off in his shiny anorak. He knows what these soft bear paws can do.
over an out
BIEBER I AM NOW A BELIEVER! Well not quite… but I do believe, me and old Beebs might have one or two things in common these days… We both enjoy fast cars (or fast cabs in my case) we both live in the public eye (i got over 200 twitter followers) and we both like to PARTY! Who doesn’t like to party?
I know before he was just an annoying twerp from Canada who looked about 9 years old until he was 17, But now he’s proper avin it. I think he may finally be ready to join me for a proper naughty night out in London. We could hit the Trocadero in Leicester Square and smash the arcade up, pop over to my favourite nightclub ‘Los Locos’ for their happy hour (2 carslberg for the price of 1) and then cruise over waterloo bridge and throw eggs at the tourists!
Give the kid a break and send him over to the Bear…. then we can do some proper Rock n Roll hell-raising like the old days… Im talking smack, orgies, tabletennis and pure uncut Haribo for the kid… we dont wanna him to run before he can walk
Justin if you read this bell my on my private number, what ever you do don’t call the work one, I think it’s being tapped.
P as you can see from this pic he already knows my Uncle Eddie from Toronto
Firstly I wish you well on your next adventure and I hope you find the peace you were always searching for.
Sadly Phil past away over the weekend, I didn’t know him too well but the few times we did meet he was the kindest, funnest and generally the most down to earth New Yorker I’d ever met. When I was starting out my acting career he was there always giving me confidence boosts and urging me to continue the dream, thank you for that. Yeah we partied hard but he was living in the moment and grabbing life by the horns, we never regretted a moment.
I never got a chance to send him the new LazyTalk LP but I’m sure he would of approved. I think he would of enjoyed “Just A Ride” as that was one of his many motto’s in life.